(This is a snapshot of my old weblog. New posts and selected republished essays can be found at raganwald.com.)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I can change any time I want to, I just don't want to.
Does that sound like anything you’ve heard before? Perhaps from a smoker? Or someone who does not exercise?
Or maybe someone who says they could learn new things, but they are too busy right now keeping on top of what they already know? Or the converse? Someone who is too busy playing with new things to buckle down and work hard with what they already know?
Change is brutally hard. Nobody finds it easy.
Does that sound like anything you’ve heard before? Perhaps from a smoker? Or someone who does not exercise?
Or maybe someone who says they could learn new things, but they are too busy right now keeping on top of what they already know? Or the converse? Someone who is too busy playing with new things to buckle down and work hard with what they already know?
Change is brutally hard. Nobody finds it easy.
Comments on “I can change any time I want to, I just don't want to.”:
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Speaking of change, I was just looking back on what I've learned this year: http://my.opera.com/karmazilla/blog/2007/12/13/what
Would be interresting to see what you have learned :-)
Would be interresting to see what you have learned :-)
I imagine that most people do know someone (or many people) like you described, but don't most people also know something that is the exact opposite? Someone who says if I wanted to I could and you know he's telling the truth because when he wants to he does?
I have a friend who, for the past 5 years or so I think has been smoking on and off. He stops cold turkey at will, "will" usually being "presence of girlfriend". I remember him chain smoking a pack or two a day for a whole summer when he was away from his girlfriend. When she came back he didn't smoke a single cigarette for two years.
I think I'm the same way. It usually doesn't bother me to say things like if I wanted to I could because when I want to I usually can. Sometimes I would say something like that because I have no interest whatsoever in doing it (although in that case I usually reverse the terms, something like: Sure I could, but I really don't want to).
I know I'm in the minority, perhaps because of some circumstances in my life, but I don't find change all that hard. I just think it gets some getting used to. When you've gone through some very big changes it gets easier next time. When you've lost all your friends and had to make new ones more than once, it's easier to move to a new city where you don't know anyone. The first big change is hard. The next is easier. Eventually it becomes easy, even normal. Change isn't even change anymore.
It's just that most people live in a very set routine and they've never had to build the willpower to make a real change in their life and stick to their decision. It's probably quite egotistical and self-centered but I believe I have more willpower than most people and, because I believe that, I routinely have to prove to myself that it's true. So when I make a decision, that belief forces me to go through with it. It's what makes change easy for me.
I have a friend who, for the past 5 years or so I think has been smoking on and off. He stops cold turkey at will, "will" usually being "presence of girlfriend". I remember him chain smoking a pack or two a day for a whole summer when he was away from his girlfriend. When she came back he didn't smoke a single cigarette for two years.
I think I'm the same way. It usually doesn't bother me to say things like if I wanted to I could because when I want to I usually can. Sometimes I would say something like that because I have no interest whatsoever in doing it (although in that case I usually reverse the terms, something like: Sure I could, but I really don't want to).
I know I'm in the minority, perhaps because of some circumstances in my life, but I don't find change all that hard. I just think it gets some getting used to. When you've gone through some very big changes it gets easier next time. When you've lost all your friends and had to make new ones more than once, it's easier to move to a new city where you don't know anyone. The first big change is hard. The next is easier. Eventually it becomes easy, even normal. Change isn't even change anymore.
It's just that most people live in a very set routine and they've never had to build the willpower to make a real change in their life and stick to their decision. It's probably quite egotistical and self-centered but I believe I have more willpower than most people and, because I believe that, I routinely have to prove to myself that it's true. So when I make a decision, that belief forces me to go through with it. It's what makes change easy for me.
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